The Great Indian Card Trick

Twenty years ago I landed my first job in advertising. As a junior writer. Or so I thought. On my first day at work, I was introduced around by another junior writer. "Sub-junior" writer he stated emphatically, claiming credit for the three months he had over me. I thought that was funny.

My first unofficial designation never made it to the ad agency ranks, but let's take a look at what did.

Trainee Copywriter.

Junior Copywriter.


Senior Copywriter.

Creative Group Head.

Associate Creative Director.

Creative Director.

Senior Creative Director.

Associate Vice President & Senior Creative Director.

Executive Creative Director.

Senior Vice President & Executive Creative Director.

National Creative Director (North).

National Creative Director (South).

National Creative Director (East).

National Creative Director (West).

National Creative Director (2 directions).

National Creative Director (3 directions).

National Creative Director (all directions).

Chief Creative Officer.

And then I imagined a young aspiring copywriter, just out of college, calling an agency for a job.

"Trick or Treat Advertising, good morning, how may I help you?"

"Good morning, may I speak to the Creative Director please?"

"Certainly sir. Which creative director would you like to speak to?"

"Ummm... just the Creative Director."

"Sir, we have 7 different kinds of creative directors and on an average, 3 of each. So you have to be more specific."

"Actually I need to speak to the person who heads the creative department."

"That will be the Chief Creative Officer sir."

"Can I meet him?"

"I very much doubt it sir. Even the people in office hardly get to meet him."

"But doesn't he work here?"

"He does, but he doesn't come in to office."

"Oh, he works from home?"

"No sir. Coffee shops, restaurants, bars, pubs ... and once a year, Cannes."

"Oh, he must be a foodie."

"Absolutely not sir. He only drinks green tea. After 6 pm, only Glenfiddich."

"Glen what?"

"That's exactly what he said when he first came here for a job."

"Sounds like a cool job. What must I do to get that job?"

"Nothing sir."


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